Raising Down-To-Earth Stellar Children – Interview with Paul Bettany

I think it’s not a secret that I love Paul Bettany. Yeah, the real L word. He’s definitely one of my favorite actors and I fell in love with him and his wife, Academy Award®–winner Jennifer Connelly since they announced they were a couple and I started hearing how he was so captivated by her beauty and how he played the guitar to impress her.

It’s special when people you admire get married, have kids, stay together longer than the odds would say and tell us how safe they still feel with one another and how much they still trust and love each other. I love it even more when it gets real…

As he walked in to the interview room and called me “lovely”… (ok, he actually said “all of you lovely people,” but I was there), he was going to turn his phone off and showed us his screensaver:

I have a picture of my wife when she was four on my phone so that when she’s really annoying I look at it. When she’s shouting at me. We’re in the process of moving right now and I’ve been doing back-to-back press tours so she’s super happy at me. She’s so glad that I’m in Los Angeles and not actually packing up tea chests, as you can imagine. 

Paul Bettany starred as the imaginary roommate opposite Russell Crowe, Ed Harris and Jennifer Connelly in the Academy Award®–winning “A Beautiful Mind” for director Ron Howard when love sparked. His performance in the film won him the London Critics’ Circle Film Award for best British actor. Talk about full circle now that we were chatting about SOLO: A STAR WARS STORY, which is also directed by Ron Howard.

Of course, we know Paul Bettany as Vision from Marvel Studios’ “Avengers: Age of Ultron,” “Captain America: Civil War,” and, most recently, “Avengers: Infinity War.” I saw him and his stunning wife walking the purple Thanos carpet along our favorite Avengers and walking into the Dolby theater together to watch the movie premiere.

We learned from Ron Howard that Michael K. Williams had initially been cast for Dryden Vos, but was unavailable to reshoot when Ron Howard took over:

One of the things the producers wanted to do was change the design of that entire sequence. I agreed and it meant a hundred percent reshoot and a rethink of the character that Williams was playing and he wasn’t available. Once we realized he couldn’t do it, I turned to Paul Bettany and, I’ve directed in Da Vinci Code and Beautiful Mind. And he’s so versatile and so creative. And he brought a lot to this Dryden Vos character.

Paul Bettany gave us the 4-1-1 as to why Ron Howard turned to him for the role:

This is a hugely embarrassing story which I shouldn’t tell you but I’ve got to tell you anyway. I heard that my old mate, Ron, was doing it and in 1977 I saw Star Wars. I was six years old and it took me out of the gray, miserable 1970’s London. London was really depressed in the ‘70s. To be taken away to that universe and it was amazing.

Now I’m in the Avengers so I think there’s no way I’m ever going to be asked to be in Star Wars. Unless, Ron Howard becomes the director. And that happened. I texted him and I said, hey, Ron, have you ever spent long winter evenings wondering why you’re not in the Star Wars franchise? And he said, give me a moment. And two weeks later I was flying to London to shoot it. True story. 

The way Paul Bettany described working with Ron Howard was almost like a poem. You could see a genuine admiration and appreciation that was almost palpable, and feel that indeed this experience was one of the highlights of being in SOLO: A STAR WARS STORY for him.

…watching an old friend, somebody who I really love. Ron is as close to family as you get in this business. He’s put his hand out and helped me out so many times. And seeing him be so accomplished and so welcomed and what could potentially have been a very tricky situation for him, and his ability with staging, he’s just a fine director.

And also, amazingly inclusive and genuinely interested in everybody’s opinions about how things should be. That’s not to say that he doesn’t have his own vision. He’s just so confident that he is able to be really open and collaborative. And I think that’s a sign of a really strong leader is when they’re listening. That was beautiful.

Whether we consider ourselves leaders or simply seeking to be better at self-leadership, this is sound advice. Inclusion, collaboration, and openness to really listen to others are definitely character traits that we must cultivate in our life, especially as moms. Paul Bettany is perfect as the mercurial Dryden Vos, the newest Star Wars villain we’re going to both love and hate (that’s just how Star Wars works, isn’t it?). 

“He is a sociopath, unpredictable, anarchic,” he says. He’s like one of those characters that appeared post-perestroika, after the introduction of the free market economy into a country that culturally had no system of ownership. Some people were trodden on, and some people did the treading. Dryden is like one of those guys who clawed his way up.

He said he couldn’t be the judge on how Dryden Vos compares to other Star Wars villains, but he offered:

I really wanted to do something very different. And I felt like I could because the offshoot films, you know, they’re not encumbered with the same set of responsibilities that the main franchise are encumbered with. There is the possibility to have a more playful tone. I really wanted to sort of be quite loose with it. He is an entrepreneur, you know what I mean. He knows who he is and is super happy about it… Like, no problems with being bad. Some people are gifted at playing the piano or whatever and he’s really gifted at torture and murder. And he’s really okay with it. And that’s really fun to play because you’re just able to close down all the conscious stuff and just be great at torture and murder.

That was a creepy moment, but we really understood what he meant because we had seen the movie. And Dryden Vos’ look is quite dreadful, but Paul Bettany assured us it was all CG and there was no painfully long makeup application!

Dryden Vos is not in competition with other villains, Paul Bettany is just excited to be part of the Star Wars galaxy!

Oh, yeah, there were many moments where I went, oh, my gosh, I’m in a Star Wars movie. And I think because Ron and I were newcomers on the block as it were. Everyone else had been in there for eight months. And we were still totally un-jaded by it. I kept elbowing him and saying, were making a Star Wars movie!

He told us that another highlight of making a Star Wars movie, besides making it with Ron Howard, was the set experience for his children (and his friends’ children):

Oh, my God, I was like a tour guide. It’s like you’ve got to bring the kids. I can take you on the Millennium Falcon. I was just endlessly leaving set to take children around because it’s amazing seeing their faces when they are on set, I mean it’s just phenomenal. Like you walk around the whole ship and it’s just ahhh!

I had a tour of the Millennium Falcon myself and it was amazing, so I can imagine what the real set must have been like. That’s a bucket list item for a Star Wars fan, right?

And it looks like Paul Bettany and I both enjoy flirting with the storm troupers! I was like “I’m a part of the Rebel Alliance and a traitor to the empire, take me away!” LOL

By the way, when I got to ask Paul Bettany a question, I accidentally called him and his wife GORGEOUS. But they are. So of course, he said his wife is. And she is. I love how much he loves her and I know I’m sentimental, but I could tell that as lovely as we all were, he’d rather be packing tea chests with her. 

So I asked him what he hopes to leave as a legacy to his children, you know, beyond the good looks, fame, and success, and his answer blew me away because I share a lot of his views and people who know my children can attest to this. He just went on talking about his values as a parent and even came back to the question at the end of the interview.

I think the thing I’m most proud of with my kids is that they always say please and thank you. I have taught them there is no separation between children and adults in our lives in terms of like going to a restaurant or going with us.

Their time spent on devices is really limited. They are not allowed devices in a restaurant. They have to ask questions and they have to be engaged with other people. My daughter’s six. I have a 20-year-old and I have a 14-year-old and what I noticed about them is that they have a confidence within themselves that I feel I really lacked.

I might be strict with them, which I have been about certain things, parties and all of that stuff as they grow up.

And now my son, who is 20, is off in college and doing his own thing, but, deep down inside they appear to know that they’re just excellent company, they’re good people. They know how loved they are and how lovable they are. We have as much as we can try to inoculate them from all of the slightly weird and odd things that can happen having parents that do what we do.

If you read my Mother’s Day post about how to be the BEST mom EVER, I think you’d agree that Paul Bettany and Jennifer Connelly are definitely up there.

The room was in a reverent silence when Paul Bettany spoke of how he feels about being part of the biggest film franchises in the industry. He said his children can’t pick a side and are equally excited that he’s in the Marvel Studios films and the Star Wars franchise.

We’re really feeling how privileged and blessed we all are at the moment. And it’s been an amazing ride. They’re really aware of their privilege, because I’m not willing to raise one of those children. I want them to know how rare this situation is and to prepare them for a life in which they can hopefully, give back in a way that we’ve all received. When we all fly together, we fly in coach…

Whoa! I never expected him to say that. Did you?

To all this, Paul Bettany wanted to make sure we knew he was grateful that both Kathleen Kennedy and Kevin Feige made it okay for him to “cross pollinate.” He says that Kevin Feige is “such a huge Star Wars fan.”

There were times when literally, the makeup crew on Star Wars were finding bits of purple still on me from playing Vision, which doesn’t speak well of my bathing. Can I tell you the amount of work it takes to get that stuff off?

I’m not going to comment on his bathing, but I’ll talk about what a gentleman he is. My adopted cousin Leanette Fernandez had an injury and he insisted she sit for the picture and he would stand. When she refused, he compromised by sitting with her. That was so impressive and proof that he walks his talk. Did I already say I love him? You know, as in one of my top favorite actors kind of way. He’s also a talented director. He wrote, directed, and produced “Shelter” starring his amazing wife Jennifer Connelly and his fellow Avenger Anthony Mackie, featuring the topics of drug addiction and homelessnes, was nominated for best debut feature at the Raindance Film Festival in London.

If you haven’t gotten your tickets to go see Paul Bettany as Dryden Vos, make sure you do that today. SOLO: A STAR WARS STORY features the story of our favorite scoundrel in the galaxy: young Han Solo (Alden Ehrenreich) and his adorable copilot Chewbacca (Joonas Suotamo)!

You’ll also enjoy Donald Glover as notorious gambler Lando Calrissian, Woody Harrelson as Beckett, Thandie Newton as Val, and Emilia Clarke as Q’ira. What’s your tip to raise down-to-earth stellar children? May Paul Bettany inspire us!

SOLO: A STAR WARS STORY opens in theaters everywhere on May 25th! You can follow the latest updates by visiting the official SOLO: A STAR WARS STORY site, following STAR WARS on Instagram, following STAR WARS on Twitter,  and liking STAR WARS on Facebook. Make sure you follow the conversation along with #HanSolo and #HanSoloEvent.

Founder of the Positive MOM® and creator of the S.T.O.R.Y. System: a blueprint to craft and share powerful stories that will transform your results and help others do the same. Dr. Elayna Fernández is a single mom of 4, an award-winning Storyteller, Story Strategist, and Student of Pain. She’s a bestselling author, internationally acclaimed keynote speaker, and 5x TEDx speaker. She has spoken at the United Nations, received the President’s Volunteer Lifetime Achievement Award, and was selected as one of the Top Impactful Leaders and a Woman of Influence by SUCCESS Magazine. Connect with Elayna at thepositivemom.com/ef and follow @thepositivemom. To receive a gift from Elayna, click HERE.

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