When People Walk Away From You, Let Them Go

Throughout my life, I have learned many lessons that have become more like core mottoes in my life. A very meaningful and kind of a big deal one is:

When People Walk Away From You, Let Them Go.

You see, I used to be very ATTACHED co-dependent. It was the kind of “loyalty” that forces you to stay in a relationship, friendship, or partnership way too long because you just must GO ALONG TO GET ALONG. Getting along, avoiding conflict, being nice… they’re all closely related to being a doormat!

The Buddhists believe that attachment is the primary human source of suffering. That makes sense, but letting go is not as simple as singing your way to the North Mountain to build an Ice Castle where you’ll live happily ever after.

Everything in life requires us to relinquish control and let go… especially this divine role of motherhood you and I have faithfully accepted. When I worked for someone else, I left my kids at daycare. Before I homeschooled, there was the first day of kindergarten; before I know it, they will go on a mission, off to college… and will get married. I get ahead of myself… but don’t we all?

I digress… just want to be clear that I have NOT yet mastered the art of letting go. I don’t think anyone can.  As a Christian, I strive to keep an eternal perspective because I think pain comes when we don’t remember that all endings are also beginnings.
when someone walks away from you let them goI have learned to rejoice in the end of relationships, friendships, and partnerships. I am not saying I break into a maniacal laugh or that I numb my feelings. It is actually more like being at peace with closing a chapter, because when it’s meant to be, it is. Having trust in a bigger plan brings peace, strength, and joy.

Letting someone go doesn’t mean you don’t care about them anymore. I recently established some boundaries with someone that showed me and my family “her true colors” and I wish her well and send her love. Trust me, it is hurtful to accept that someone who is “supposed to be grateful” simply doesn’t value you, or takes you for granted, but when we swallow our giant egos, we can focus on the facts and understand the clear message they are communicating with their actions, even when their words are vague, or even flattering with the intent to manipulate.

More than once, I have realized that walking away is actually a step forward. After I stopped focusing on how she acted, I started to experience a great deal of freedom. All of a sudden, doors opened and I now have time available to walk through them. God showed me that moving on is necessary to avoid the pain of staying stuck where I didn’t belong and what was derailing me from my true purpose. What you allow is what will continue.

Through each “break up” I have learned to never force anything. I do my best, I love generously, I speak truthfully and openly (which sometimes expedites the process), I stop holding on, and just let it be. I also learned valuable advice from one of my favorite books:

Don’t take anything personally. Whatever happens around you, don’t take it personally… Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. — The Four Agreements ~ Don Miguel Ruiz.

I encourage you examine your relationships, friendships, and partnerships carefully. I guarantee you that when you finally find the courage to let go of what doesn’t serve you, it will be one of the most rewarding, most freeing practices in your life.

YOU are good enough just as you are and there’s no need to modify who you are for others’ approval or validation. Self-mastery is a great goal… and it’s achieved out of personal inner motivation. Let go, let God, and everything will fall into place!

What have you learned from letting go of friendships, relationships, and partnerships that didn’t serve you any longer?

Elayna Fernandez - Author - Speaker - Success Guide to Moms and Mompreneurs
© Elayna Fernández ~ The Positive MOM
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50 thoughts on “When People Walk Away From You, Let Them Go

  1. I can totally relate to this post. I’ve had my share of people walking away for reasons that I may or may have not understood. I let them go. And once I did, good things actually started coming my way. Like what they say, when the door closes, a window opens. :)

  2. I’ve learned that some people are only meant to be in your life for a season and to be ok with that. I put my energy on working on relationships with people who want to be in my life instead of chasing those that don’t want to be in my life anymore.

  3. I actually just let go of a business partnership in June that I was trying to hold onto for so long. I am so happy about that choice now though because I feel free, not as stressed, less restrained & controlled. It’s hard but in most cases worth it.

  4. YOU are good enough just as you are and there’s no need to modify who you are for others’ approval or validation.–It took me a while to really learn the above. Now that I have and have walked away from those that attempt to change me-I am much happier.

  5. Great post– well worth the read. my favorite was : Don’t take anything personally. Whatever happens around you, don’t take it personally… Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. — The Four Agreements ~ Don Miguel Ruiz.

    Great advice!

  6. It takes such strength to walk away from that which does not benefit us in some way… and I don’t say that to be callous or heartless, but the truth. It’s a lesson I’ve learned, sometimes the hard way, but ultimately I think I’m a better person for it.

  7. What a great post. I totally agree with many points you have mentioned. I don’t really let people go per say I just move on from the moment. If at anytime they were to turn back to me for support or an ear I am always willing to accept them and be there for them.

  8. It is so hard to ‘let go’ especially when you don’t know why and you can’t get an answer out of the person that you need to ‘let go’ . You want to ‘let them go’ but you desp want an answer as to why they are being not so nice.

  9. Thanks for this post. I recently had a friend for over 15 years that recently pulled away from our friendship. This was helpful

  10. I have never had an issue letting people go. People change and grow all the time and this often takes them in different directions. You should never feel guilty for letting go.

  11. Walking away from negative or toxic people is such an important part of self-growth. It hurts to lose people that you care about, but many times you will be better off without them.

  12. This is the second time today that I’ve read that saying ‘all endings are also beginnings.’ There are a few people in my life who I need to let go of because they are so negative and make me feel like crap everytime I am around them. I think this is a sign that it is the right time to move on.

  13. I love the quote about not taking things personally because it’s always about them not you. I have always been a people pleaser and this is som7that I’m trying to change. I don’t like drama, conflict or confrontation so I always try to treat people like I would want to be treated. It doesn’t always work though.

  14. Recently did this and I am a better person because of it. You do not always have to forgive people and allow them back in your life. Some things are just not meant to be.

  15. What a great post. I have lost family and friends and I have found it is usually for the best. Once you move on and get past the pain you can see things clearer without all the anger blocking common sense. Lovely post!

  16. It is hard to let people go, especially people in your own family! We had to for a few years when they were having some trouble with substance abuse unfortunately, but a few years later they came back amazingly well. So things can always turn around too!

  17. This is such a great post! Too often we insist on keeping toxic people around for one reason or another, when we really just have to let them go for our own sake.

  18. Oooh, Elayna, this is definitely one of my favorite posts of yours. So well said- let them go, for they are creating the space for new blessings. I love that. And, yes, attachment as the root cause of all suffering. I mean, who hasn’t agonized over a break-up, or the loss of a friend, this is such comforting food for thought. Many thanks :)

  19. Hey Elayna, Im Ricardo Sutton and like you im a big believer of the Good lord. Another thing we have in common is LES BROWN… I can’t make it a day without hearing something from him. I started off listening to Eric Thomas and after listening to him over an over I started researching everything about Motivational Speaking. Once I heard Les Brown I knew finally found my True Calling on Life. By nature I am a peoples person and I always attract people when I talk about any topic. Its just they cant take me serious because Im always making them laugh at the same time. Im a Electrical Technician by trade but I know that’s not my calling. Is there anything you can do to help me get one step to Motivational Speaking and MOST OF ALL I WANT TO MEET LES BROWN JUST LIKE YOU DID… If its not a problem could you call me at 832-718-6374. Continue to be blessed Elayna and I am looking forward to your call dear.

  20. Wow, this very topic has been weighing heavily on my mind. Letting go is hard to do, but when you finally are able to the freedom and peace that come afterwards is priceless. Thank you so much for this post!

  21. My mother was a grudge holder and someone that wouldn’t talk about important feelings. My mentality and happiness improved when I accepted that I couldn’t change her or her mind until she was ready, and that as mother and child we had a bond that surpassed all that. I remember the love, and try to not make the same mistakes in how I treat my children. I also try not to vent my anger toward her in from of my children because they have their own memories, good and bad, and I don’t think my issues should cloud their minds. Thanks for the post- and the comment over on my site. :) Have a good weekend!

  22. Pingback: Are you surrounded by toxic people? ★ Elayna Fernandez ~ The Positive MOM ♥

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