I say it over and over: I am a firm believer that our words have the power to create our reality and I’m very intense about it. Connection is one of my highest core values and words of appreciation is my primary love language, so it’s not surprising that sometimes communication styles [or lack thereof] can become a source of stress in my relationships. 

I always pray for patience and understanding in this matter and to meet people where they are at in their journey while being committed to helping them shift and gain awareness. I pray I can focus on progress, which always puts things in perspective for me. 

[Tweet “Focusing on progress puts things in perspective. #mindsetformoms”]

Besides my own experience, I have witnessed hundreds of people become more confident as individuals, which leads them to achieve levels of success they had not experienced before. When our words change, our beliefs change, and possibilities open up to match them.

[Tweet “When our words change, our beliefs change, and possibilities open up to match them.”]

I’ve discussed that a good attitude is what most successful people have in common. Likewise, people who don’t succeed, share some distinguishing traits. In his book, Think and Grow RICH, Napoleon Hill explains:

“They know all the reasons for failure, and have what they believe to be airtight alibis to explain away their own lack of achievement.”

Napoleon Hill goes on to share a list of the 55 most commonly used alibis, which was complied by a character analyst. No matter how clever or justifiable by facts these alibis may sound, notice these may be things you say to sabotage your success.

The idea is not to blame or shame yourself because you use the alibis, but to create self-awareness and empower yourself to improve your relationships and become more confident to create the life you want.

55 Famous Alibis From Old Man “IF.” ~ By Napoleon Hill, Think and Grow RICH

1. IF only I didn’t have a *spouse* and children …
2. IF only I had enough “pull”…
3. IF only I had money…
4. IF only I had a good education…
5. IF only I could get a job…
6. IF only I had good health…
7. IF only I had time…
8. IF only times were better…
9. IF only other people understood me…
10. IF only conditions around me were different…
11. IF only I could live my life over again…
12. IF only I did not fear what “they” would say…
13. IF only I had been given a chance…
14. IF only I now had a chance…
15. IF only other people didn’t “have it in for me”…
16. IF only nothing happened to stop me…
17. IF only I were younger…
18. IF only I could do what I want…
19. IF only I had been born rich…
20. IF only I could meet “the right people”…
21. IF only I had the talent some people have…
22. IF only I dared assert myself…
23. IF only I had embraced past opportunities…
24. IF only people didn’t get on my nerves…
25. IF only I didn’t have to keep the house and look after the kids…
26. IF only I could save some money…
27. IF only the boss [or clients, or brands…] appreciated me…
28. IF only I had somebody to help me…
29. IF only my family understood me…
30. IF only I lived in a big city…
31. IF only I could just get started…
32. IF only I were free…
33. IF only I had the personality of some people…
34. IF only I were not so fat/short/skinny/tall…
35. IF only my talents were known…
36. IF only I could just get a “break”…
37. IF only I could get out of debt…
38. IF only I hadn’t failed…
39. IF only I knew how…
40. IF only everybody didn’t oppose me…
41. IF only I didn’t have so many worries…
42. IF only I could marry [or could have married] the right person…
43. IF only people weren’t so dumb/mean…
44. IF only my family weren’t so extravagant…
45. IF only I were sure of myself…
46. IF only luck were not against me…
47. IF only I had not been born under the wrong star…
48. IF only it were not true that “what is to be will be”…
49. IF only I didn’t have to work so hard…
50. IF only I hadn’t lost [spent] my money…
51. IF only I lived in a different neighborhood…
52. IF only I didn’t have a past…
53. IF only I had a business of my own…
54. IF only other people would listen to me…
55. IF only (and this is the greatest of them all) I had the courage to see myself as I really am, I would find out what is wrong with me and correct it. Then I might have a chance to profit by my mistakes and learn something from the experience of others. I know there is something wrong with me or I would now be where I would have been if I had spent more time analyzing my weaknesses, and less time building alibis to cover them.

I am a big fan of #55, and my daughters, along with many of the moms in my training and coaching programs, will gladly support this claim.

I believe that these alibis are spot on and we all use them at one time or another, for different reasons.

Sometimes people are so stuck in their story that they feel frustrated when you don’t commiserate, but it is my mission to show them their potential, not to support a lie that stunts their growth and denies their true potential.

Napoleon Hill says that it is in our human nature to create these explanations of why we fail and then we cling to them because they are our “brainchild.” We’ve been saying them for so long that it’s so hard to let them go.

When we conquer these excuses and set ourselves free to be powerful creators through personal responsibility. As we understand how our words influence our choices and our choices blaze the path to our destiny, our excuses become obsolete, and our dreams are manifested into our reality.

[Tweet “No alibi will save you from accepting the responsibility. #mindsetformoms #ThinkAndGrowRICH”]

Believing these excuses are true does not make anyone exempt from the results that come with them. Success principles work on everyone: male and female, of any age, and in any background or current circumstance.

People succeed without money, education, or support ALL THE TIME. Many people think my success story is inspiring, when actually, some people have achieved great heights of sustainable fulfillment and success without limbs, hearing, voice, or sight!

Do you recognize any of the alibis above? It is my prayer that Napoleon Hill’s words have inspired you as they did me a long time ago when I first read his book. It’s a great read and my daughters are reading it this week.

Will you strive to get rid of the “IF Only’s” of your life and claim the success you are meant to enjoy in this life experience? Share your commitment below.

You’re worth it!

Founder of the Positive MOM® and creator of the S.T.O.R.Y. System: a blueprint to craft and share powerful stories that will transform your results and help others do the same. Dr. Elayna Fernández is a single mom of 4, an award-winning Storyteller, Story Strategist, and Student of Pain. She’s a bestselling author, internationally acclaimed keynote speaker, and 5x TEDx speaker. She has spoken at the United Nations, received the President’s Volunteer Lifetime Achievement Award, and was selected as one of the Top Impactful Leaders and a Woman of Influence by SUCCESS Magazine. Connect with Elayna at thepositivemom.com/ef and follow @thepositivemom. To receive a gift from Elayna, click HERE.

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