Remember when you had your first baby and you were frustrated because you couldn’t understand them? Well, it gets better… and then they become teenagers.
I’m not saying that in the tone you imagine. I’m talking about another opportunity to learn to understand our child’s language and speak in a way they can understand us.
Thankfully, there are ways to build a better relationship with your teen, and the Center for Parent and Teen Communication is on a mission to help us achieve that sometimes seemingly elusive goal.
The CPTC provides science-based strategies to support healthy family relationships. That’s why I’ve signed up for their 100-word, daily parenting tip newsletter and I’m inviting you to do the same.
My favorite tip was the “Spot Teen Strengths” animated clip. Words of affirmation are something that I craved when I was a teenager and that has worked well for me with my teen daughters.
It gave me joy to confirm I am on the right track because, as moms, we often question ourselves and whether we are doing the right thing for our children.
It also reminded me that we need to be intentional in looking for the good. Our teens are already going through a challenging time and navigating difficult situations, and we are enforcing rules and pointing out improvements they need to make or skills they need to gain.
I have found that it does make a difference when we find what’s right with them and point out how loving, generous, compassionate, creative, determined, and well-meaning they are, even when things go wrong.
For a moment, I invite you to close your eyes and place your hand on your heart. Think back to when you were a teen and ask yourself: What did I need most from the people in my life?
Acceptance: to know that you are valuable and capable, just as you are.
Affection: to know that you are loved, supported, and cared for.
Appreciation: to know that what you do matters and that you matter.
You may open your eyes.
Write down those three words and put a heart around the one you needed most when you were a teen.
And I encourage you to commit to giving that to yourself and the teens in your life – whether you are a parent, relative, teacher, coach, or a loving stranger to them.
I also invite you to watch six animations by the CTPC here so you can build a better relationship with your teen and feel more confident as a parent.
Founder of the Positive MOM® and creator of the S.T.O.R.Y. System: a blueprint to craft and share powerful stories that will transform your results and help others do the same. Dr. Elayna Fernández is a single mom of 4, an award-winning Storyteller, Story Strategist, and Student of Pain. She’s a bestselling author, internationally acclaimed keynote speaker, and 5x TEDx speaker. She has spoken at the United Nations, received the President’s Volunteer Lifetime Achievement Award, and was selected as one of the Top Impactful Leaders and a Woman of Influence by SUCCESS Magazine. Connect with Elayna at thepositivemom.com/ef and follow @thepositivemom. To receive a gift from Elayna, click HERE.
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