A while ago, my daughter wrote a blog post called “7 ways playing a musical instrument makes you smarter.” I definitely agree with her that there are plenty of benefits to encouraging your children to become musicians. According to neuroscience, music can actually alter and rewire your child’s brain for the better, so learning to play a musical instrument is definitely an advantage for little ones with developing brains.

However, I did not set out to have “smarter kids” I never dreamed of having musical children either. It just happened.

Determining Whether Your Child Is Musical

It turns out that talent is built, not born. Every child is born with the desire and the ability to respond to and to make music, so if you are wondering if your child could ever play an instrument, the answer is YES!

Elisha’s favorite toy as an infant was a toy piano with keys that would light up, and shortly after she started walking, she would find a piano every Sunday at the church and beg for me to let her “play it.”

Piano was fun for Elyssa, but she actually wanted guitar lessons for her birthday, and Elisha ended up wanting to try them, as well.

I’ve learned that my children are more in-tune with their talents than I am, and of course, with practice, they can improve and tap into their musical potential.

Helping your child choose the right instrument

One thing I told myself at the beginning of this journey is that it wasn’t about me. My children did not come to the planet as vehicles for me to fulfill my dreams or stroke my ego. It doesn’t matter that my favorite instrument is the violin.

If you really want to encourage your child to make music, I think you don’t find the right instrument, the right instrument finds you. I recommend you let them try as many instruments as you can, allowing them to choose the one they love.

I believe the key question in finding your child’s instrument is “Does playing this instrument bring you joy?” If it does, then we’ve got a winner! The benefits of music will be wonderful, no matter what instrument your child chooses.

Taking the Right Lessons for the Right Reasons

Once your child chooses an instrument, your job as a parent is to keep your child actively engaged in the music and actively participating in lessons to set them up for success.

I was talking to a mom a little while ago. Her son wants to play the guitar and she refuses to pay for lessons because “he can find everything he needs to learn on YouTube.” I didn’t argue with her, but I’ll be completely honest with you: Having an instructor who knows how to teach, coach, and challenge a child in their music journey provides the setting and structure necessary to produce the outcome the child desires to see.

Being involved in what happens in the lesson is great. I used to attend my children’s lessons when they were younger and now I ask them how it went and how I can support them during the week. Instructors usually mark their instruction books, so you can see your child’s progress and having an instructor that has open lines of communication in case something comes up is priceless.

Making Practicing A Musical Instrument Fun

Because “greatness is grown,” the secret to mastering a musical instrument and to unlock your child’s talent can be summarized in one word: practice.

There will be a selection your child’s instructor will assign as practice; however, you can also encourage your children to practice the selections they enjoy, too!

I believe all practice is productive practice, especially when a child is increasing their connection to the music and their self-expression. Positive practice fuels a child’s passion for music and that will help persistence and perseverance when needed.

I like to be around when my daughters practice their music and I make sure they know I value and enjoy the music they make. I think it’s key that I honor their pace and progress and I remind them that talent is a process – sometimes a slow process – and what matters most to me is who they are in the journey.

I think your own attitude toward the lessons teaches the children to see practice as a chore or a privilege. I would tell my girls “you get to practice,” rather than “you have to practice,” and I don’t ever have to remind them to practice anymore!

Praising Your Little Musician

One of my favorite books ever, Mindset, by Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck, proves that praising children for natural ability can be harmful. I don’t just praise my children, I also brag about them, so fortunately, there is a right way to do it: we praise effort.

Instead of praising my daughters for being intelligent, I praise them for their desire to learn, for their strong work ethic, for their willingness to take risks, for their tenacity, for their attitude when they deal with failure, for their disposition to learn from their mistakes, and for the love they put into their music.

I always remind them that failure is feedback and that failure can be fuel. Failure is part of success. This lesson alone can boost your children’s self-confidence in every area of their lives.

I love the look on their faces when they get all their notes right after a recital, so proud, but I literally hate it when they are too hard on themselves because they “didn’t do it perfectly.” I am grateful for those teaching moments, whether it’s the piano, the guitar, or a singing performance.

Yes, learning to play a musical instrument can boost learning, improve study skills, and increase focus and memorization; however, my joy comes from seeing my teen daughters engaged in a healthy hobby, to seeing my daughters uplifting others as a result of their efforts, and to see that they can escape the worries of each day in an emotionally sound way.

My whole family recently attended the semi-annual Music & Arts Lesson Open house at the Hurst store here in DFW. There are over 175 locations across the country! I got Elisha signed up for guitar lessons with the same instructor that taught us the Free Open House Lesson because we just loved him!

I encourage you to look into Music & Arts lessons and to meet with a Music & Arts instructor to discuss your child’s goals and background, as well as to get a sense of their amazing lesson program.

You can visit the Music & Arts store for more information and follow Music & Arts on Twitter and Instagram and like on Facebook. You can also join the conversation on social media with #LessonOpenHouse.

Founder of the Positive MOM® and creator of the S.T.O.R.Y. System: a blueprint to craft and share powerful stories that will transform your results and help others do the same. Dr. Elayna Fernández is a single mom of 4, an award-winning Storyteller, Story Strategist, and Student of Pain. She’s a bestselling author, internationally acclaimed keynote speaker, and 5x TEDx speaker. She has spoken at the United Nations, received the President’s Volunteer Lifetime Achievement Award, and was selected as one of the Top Impactful Leaders and a Woman of Influence by SUCCESS Magazine. Connect with Elayna at thepositivemom.com/ef and follow @thepositivemom. To receive a gift from Elayna, click HERE.

Want to support the Positive MOM blog?

The mission of the Positive MOM blog is to help moms break trauma cycles, find peace, and feel emotionally whole, so they can practice supportive parenting and create a positive and healthy environment for their children. If you found Elayna’s content valuable, please consider donating a love offering to enable her to keep creating content and helping more moms worldwide. Donate HERE.