Finding My Soulmate

As I start writing this post, I don’t know where I am really going. I may surprise you…and myself.

I have recently been attracting a lot of information about marriages that last over 50 years. It seems like a formula and not a matter of being “soul-mates.”

I saw a cute picture in which the man asked the woman how they managed to stay together all these years and she replies: 

“We were just born at a time where when things were broken, we didn’t toss them, we fixed them.”

Perhaps “meant to be together” is a crazy myth.

And soul mates, mmm, here’s Elizabeth Gilbert’s definition on Eat, Pray, Love:

“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.

A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.

A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life…”

Being with a soul mate sound like pain-inflicting experience.

I have been in a painful relationship with a fault-finding, unappreciative, controlling, excessively demanding, extremely selfish man.

Yes, I learned a ton from it…but that didn’t make it fun and that won’t get my years back. I love who I am for where I’ve been yet I recognize there is indeed a better way.

Finding a soulmate must be a conscious decision based on shared core values and a joyful experience together.

Yes, we could experience and accelerate learning in an unhealthy relationship, but isn’t it better to do it at our pace while being happy with someone who simply wants to make us happy?

Founder of the Positive MOM® and creator of the S.T.O.R.Y. System: a blueprint to craft and share powerful stories that will transform your results and help others do the same. Dr. Elayna Fernández is a single mom of 4, an award-winning Storyteller, Story Strategist, and Student of Pain. She’s a bestselling author, internationally acclaimed keynote speaker, and 5x TEDx speaker. She has spoken at the United Nations, received the President’s Volunteer Lifetime Achievement Award, and was selected as one of the Top Impactful Leaders and a Woman of Influence by SUCCESS Magazine. Connect with Elayna at thepositivemom.com/ef and follow @thepositivemom. To receive a gift from Elayna, click HERE.

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