I know I sound like a broken record, but I am going to say it again: kids, tweens, and teens need to feel loved, supported, and cared for.

No matter what their love language, they all need to hear encouraging words of approval, acknowledgment, and appreciation. EVERY – SINGLE – DAY!

Let’s use Merriam Webster to gain a true understanding of what each of these words means in action:

Approve: to have or express a favorable opinion of | to accept as satisfactory. 

Acknowledge: to take notice of | to recognize the rights, authority, or status of | to recognize as genuine or valid.

Appreciate: to recognize with gratitude | to value or admire highly | to grasp the nature, worth, quality, or significance of.

I don’t have to read your mind to know that you love your child, that you love your tween, that you love your teenager. But the question is not whether you love them, it’s whether they know – and whether they know now.

When your kids know you approve of them, they know you firmly believe they are good enough and acceptable to you. 

Your kids feel acknowledged by you when you take actions to express and show that they are seen, heard, and understood.

Your kids know you appreciate them when you recognize their qualities, works, and nature.

When I was a child, I didn’t think my mom loved me… like at all! When I was a teenager, I really thought my mother hated me. As an adult, I started to think she at least tolerated me.

I wasn’t blind to all her efforts and her sacrifices for me, but that didn’t really count much when I was starving for her approval, acknowledgment, and appreciation. 

On the other hand, I didn’t see my dad much after their divorce, and he fell short in comparison with what my mom had to deal with and everything she did because he had other priorities in his new life.

My dad didn’t have to be perfect or have it all together, in order for me to know he loved me dearly and I bet you can guess why: every time I was with him I felt approved, acknowledged, and appreciated.

In retrospect, even though I said I hated my mom and I loved my dad, I loved them both. She would have probably never believed how I admired her work ethic and her obsession for excellence and cleanliness, and how grateful I was that she was so resourceful and sacrificial in making sure we wouldn’t starve, we had an education, and we stayed as healthy as possible. I just hated feeling subpar, invisible and suffocated. As Maya Angelou once wisely said:

I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

My daughters all know I adore them and they adore me back and it’s not because I won the teenager lottery or because of “all I do for them.” I am not and do not want to be a super mom.

Like most moms, I have been fierce and relentless in conveying my love for my kids in thought, word, and deed. However, I think the key has been to actually follow up on what I do and what I say to find out how it made them feel, and then to tweak, apologize, or do more of it, depending on the result.

One of the sweetest activities my daughters and I have done for one another is what we call an Appreciation Heart Attack. One of the signs that something works to show them love is when they, in turn, do it to show their affection for you.

If you’ve never heard about Appreciation Heart Attacks, you may be confused or even scared. Don’t worry, though, an Appreciation Heart Attacks is a fun activity to let a person know they matter, and it just happens to involve so many hearts that it feels like an attack – a positive attack!

Give Your Kids An Appreciation Heart Attack

Wanna go overboard in appreciating your kids? You don’t need an excuse, just pick any day and give your kids an Appreciation Heart Attack.

I’m going to teach you how to give your child or teenager an Appreciation Heart Attack and I’m also including printables to make the process a lot easier for you. YAY!

What you need for your Appreciation Heart Attack

(besides my printable hearts)

Cardstock in white or your child’s favorite colors

Paper scissors

Double-sided tape

Fine point sharpie markers

Home Printer

Appreciation Heart Attack – Step by Step 

Print the Appreciation Heart Attack heart templates out on cardstock using your printer.

Cut out the hearts you want to use from the free printable at the end of the post with your paper scissors.

Write an affirmation, affection, or appreciation note about your child on each heart using your fine point sharpies. Here’s a list of 101 positive things you need to say to your child to get you started.

Use double-sided tape to stick the hearts to cover your child’s bedroom door.

Savor the joy on your child’s face when they come upon this magical surprise!

An Appreciation Heart Attack is a cute, simple, and effective way to spread love, and you can do it for people outside your home, too.

My daughters and I love heart-attacking. We’ve done it for Valentine’s Day, for friends’ birthdays, and for Mother’s Day, and it’s funny when you are caught by your friend’s neighbor as they see you trying to be sneaky and taping something on their neighbor’s door.

If you think the whole going to someone’s home to stick hearts at their door is too risky, you can create an Appreciation Heart Attack Jar, by placing all your appreciation hearts in a mason jar and dropping it off at the doorstep. This “sweetheart mason jar” is just perfect!

Another wonderful option is an Appreciation Heart Attack Clothesline. You can hang each heart with a wooden clothespin on twine and create a garland for your kid or that special someone you are heart-attacking.

You can either sign one of the hearts to let the person know you are the heart-attacker, or you can make it anonymous. I particularly enjoy it when the heart-attacked is trying to figure out who did the deed. It’s so fun!

If the person you want to give an Appreciation Heart Attack to doesn’t live within driving distance, you can heart attack them by mailing the appreciation hearts in a small box or envelope. Of course, this one is not anonymous, but it’s still surprising.

Free Appreciation Heart Attack Printables

This single appreciation heart printable is perfect for writing a bit of a longer heartfelt note, ideal for the center of your child’s door. Click to download this free printable.

These 8 small appreciation hearts help you save on printing and can contain short positive phrases about your child or teenager. Click to download this free printable.

These 4 medium-sized appreciation hearts are great if you’re like me: you want to save on printing but your prefer having a bit more room for handwriting. Click to download this free printable.

Remember: These downloadable free printables are for personal use only! By using my appreciation hearts you won’t have to draw or trace; however, if you’d like an easier fix, you can also use a package of Heart Paper Doilies! 

Are you going to give your kids an Appreciation Heart Attack? Share your thoughts and ideas with us!

Founder of the Positive MOM® and creator of the S.T.O.R.Y. System: a blueprint to craft and share powerful stories that will transform your results and help others do the same. Dr. Elayna Fernández is a single mom of 4, an award-winning Storyteller, Story Strategist, and Student of Pain. She’s a bestselling author, internationally acclaimed keynote speaker, and 5x TEDx speaker. She has spoken at the United Nations, received the President’s Volunteer Lifetime Achievement Award, and was selected as one of the Top Impactful Leaders and a Woman of Influence by SUCCESS Magazine. Connect with Elayna at thepositivemom.com/ef and follow @thepositivemom. To receive a gift from Elayna, click HERE.

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