Is There Really A Way To Balance Work and Family?

BALANCE has sure become a dirty little word these days. There are those who are seeking perfect balance… and then there are those who believe that balance is… you know, impossible. My take is, well, there is NO balance in that!

Of course, seeking PERFECT balance is the path to constant frustration, misery, and disappointment. Seeking perfection in ANYTHING is a setup for failure. And, thank God! Right?

The feeling of growth, learning, and progress is simply so rewarding, that if we were to say: this is perfect and now we’re done, we would die of absolute boredom. I know I would.

Is that true for you, too?

And about the allegations of balance being impossible, I’d like to address that in the form of Walt Disney quotes:

• If you can dream it, you can do it.
• We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we’re curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.
• It’s kind of fun to do the impossible.

Like Walt Disney, I believe when there’s a problem, there’s a solution, but if you don’t believe, you won’t even be curious enough to look… or crazy enough to decide to go for it.

The non-believers say “there simply are not enough hours in the day,” but if you think about it, we all get the same amount.

Mother Teresa, Nelson Mandela, and Gandhi all had 24 hours a day. Martin Luther King had a DREAM… and 24 hours each day. 

Every person who ever lived, even those who did what many thought was impossible, had the same amount of time you and I have today. 

Sure, I cringe whenever I see one of those “Beyonce has the same 24 hours you do – What’s your excuse?” memes. Those are designed to infuse you with guilt because truthfully, not everyone has her resources! 

What I am saying is that these people were not always at the level where we hold them to be today. Consistent steps toward a journey, as little as they may seem, will make a difference and will make for progress. What did they do before they became who you know them to be?

Is there really a way to balance work and family?

Yes… there are many ways, in fact, but you must know, it starts with being curious and believing there’s at least a way. Or to reverse Disney’s quote, “you can do it, but you must dream it.” 

Now to shed some light on the ACTUAL meaning of balance, I looked it up in the dictionary:

• the state of having your weight spread equally so that you do not fall
• the ability to move or to remain in a position without losing control or falling
• a state in which different things occur in equal or proper amounts or have an equal or proper amount of importance

Drum roll, please:

BALANCED is not a synonym for PERFECT. It is simply a state in which you are not falling, losing control, or neglecting important aspects of your life. BALANCE is attainable, perfection is not.

Now for the etymology of the noun BALANCE.

The meaning “bring or keep in equilibrium“ is from the 1630s, the meaning “general harmony between parts” is from 1732; the meaning of “keep oneself in equilibrium“ is from 1833.

I’m just going to go ahead and be sassy right now and point out that “general harmony” is just that. Not harmony every.single.moment.of.every.single.day but a general sense of harmony, in the presence of challenges that stretch and expand you to a grander life experience.

Balance is totally possible.

Balancing work and family is surely doable. Our destiny as daughters of God is to live in balance, not in constant stress, despair, and depression.

We were given this thing the psychologists (and the LDS) call “agency,” which is a sense of personal power that leads to feeling in integrity, in alignment, and in –ahem– harmony with your greater purpose in life.

If you’re out of balance, you are not fully exercising your personal power.

My daughters (especially the littlest) and I love the song “Man or Muppet“, which won the Academy Award for Best Original Song for the Walt Disney Pictures’ 2011 musical film The Muppets. 

Like the song suggests, the singer is questioning whether he is a man (taking control of his life) or a muppet (the cross of a puppet and a marionette, an inanimate object manipulated by a person – or by rods, wires, strings…).

After watching this movie and hearing this song a million times, I have come to believe this song illustrates what balance is all about.

When you’re in BALANCE you are not being pulled or manipulated: you are consciously in charge. (Notice I didn’t say “in control” – giggles – Control is an illusion).

Here’s another definition of Balance I found:

“the power or ability to decide an outcome by throwing one’s strength, influence, support, or the like, to one side or the other.”

Balance is not about managing time, it’s about mastering your agency.

I always say, “balance is not having it all, it’s about enjoying all that matters.” You know, when “they” (the non-believers in balance) talk about balance, they refer to the woulda, coulda, and shoulda, and it simply doesn’t cut it.

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BALANCE is possible.

And you can see it at play in your life because you are meant to live a life you love, a life with “peace that surpasses understanding.“

If you’ve guessed by now that I’m passionate about this thing called balance, you’re right. As a single mom with a demanding job, two toddlers, endless chores, and no support system or resources, I refused to believe that I couldn’t have it all.

My “delusion” (I call it faith) fueled me to create exactly what I envisioned in my life.

It’s the boldness and access of confidence that Paul talks about in Ephesians 3, being strengthened with might:

“Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us..”

So, here’s a bold question:

WHAT IF you could worketh the power in you to do, be, experience, have, express, more? Balance is more than setting goals, evaluating priorities, or time management.

Balance is more than making lists and checking them twice – ugh! Don’t get me started on that! Balance is a MINDSET.

Are you ready to step into BALANCE and create a life of PEACE, JOY and FREEDOM that you love living?

I invite you to enroll in my “Stepping Into BALANCE” class (I call it a virtual camp because it’s truly intense training toward transformation).

No boots are needed (nor extreme haircuts), just bring your commitment, an unwavering desire to invest in your happiness, and to put in consistent effort to make it happen.

You can read all the details about the Stepping Into BALANCE program HERE. I am so passionate about it because my mission is to empower, encourage, and equip moms, I want all moms to learn to balance work, family, and self-care, too.

Are you IN? What would a BALANCED life look like to you? I can’t wait to read your thoughts!

Founder of the Positive MOM® and creator of the S.T.O.R.Y. System: a blueprint to craft and share powerful stories that will transform your results and help others do the same. Dr. Elayna Fernández is a single mom of 4, an award-winning Storyteller, Story Strategist, and Student of Pain. She’s a bestselling author, internationally acclaimed keynote speaker, and 5x TEDx speaker. She has spoken at the United Nations, received the President’s Volunteer Lifetime Achievement Award, and was selected as one of the Top Impactful Leaders and a Woman of Influence by SUCCESS Magazine. Connect with Elayna at thepositivemom.com/ef and follow @thepositivemom. To receive a gift from Elayna, click HERE.

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