I have particular views about bullying. I guess it is because anti-bullying doesn’t really resonate with me. “Love thy neighbor” advocate is more of a fitting title.
It concerns me that we may be “medicating the symptoms” of a rapidly growing condition. Bullying, like other diseases of the body and mind, is an epidemic that can be often avoided if only tackled at its roots.
When faced with questions, and after mustering up the courage to ask them, our youth has access to thoughtless answers of self-appointed experts that confuse, aggravate, and at times, even encourage bullying.
I have conducted workshops, visited forums, and surveyed a few groups and encountered what I consider to be EXTREMELY HORRIBLE ADVICE such as:
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I once read someone suggest a teen to “take it until there is evidence” so that he could really get the bully in deep trouble. “You’ll make more of a statement when you report him while with a black eye!” I-N-S-A-N-E!!!
Other advice to explore includes staying with a large group, not acting scared, or reporting the event to a trusted adult. Even though some could argue these may be more effective and reasonable ways to stop bullying, it still doesn’t address the reasons why the bully is bullying or why the bullied allows it.
I do agree that confidence can be a bully repellent. Bullies are encouraged to exist and abound because of the bullied kid’s lack of confidence and their intentional or accidental expression of the same. However, I think it is ignorant to blame the bully or the bullied for the situation. Their personalities did not create bullying. Bullying has probably existed since before Cain killed Abel in the Old Testament.
I believe as parents, we are responsible for our children’s behaviors. God has entrusted them to us for love, protection, and training. Parental involvement is essential in the school years to make sure the child is behaving and developing properly; however, a parent’s role is even more critical in the formative years (from birth to 5 years old), when the parent (or primary caregiver) must actively teach and model positive behavior rooted on The Golden Rule.
The way to end bullying is to teach our kids to LOVE their neighbor as they love themselves and to do only what they would want done to themselves. No, we are not perfect, but who cares about perfection? I am a recovering perfectionist. I am happy doing my best and working my hardest at growing, learning, expanding, and improving.
Do all you can to teach your children to practice The Golden Rule. It’s the fail-proof antidote to all the sicknesses in our society.
[ela]