My daughters and I love ORGANIC produce. So much discomfort and disease are caused by toxic substances. From our vegetables to our cleaning supplies to my nail polish, we strive to be a chemical-free home.
In the same way, chemical-filled products are cancerous for our physical health, some relationships are toxic for our mind and our soul.
A person is toxic for you when an interaction with them causes you to feel drained energetically, unfulfilled, worse about yourself, and sometimes even threatened or in potential danger. A sure clue is that you feel like you have to change to make the toxic person happy.
Toxic relationships are filled with drama, angst, dread, misery, illness, depression, and stress.
People who are toxic for you act as:
- Takers ~ the relationship revolves around what you can do for them, how, and how often. Their actions and words feel controlling, demanding, selfish and self-centered.
- Pessimists ~ poor and negative outlook in life.
- Complainers ~ gossiping about what is wrong about anything and anyone all the time. Everything seems to annoy them, bother them and frustrate them.
- Blamers ~ dumping their frustrations on others and unable to accept personal responsibility. They are mistrusting and jealous, at times.
- Drainers ~ they are insecure, and, therefore, they say demeaning comments, put you down, criticize you, question you to feel a false sense of empowerment. They often ignore your boundaries.
I don’t consume any toxic substances, but I suspect addiction to a substance is much like addiction to a person. We would slip under and easily and rapidly get sucked in. We don’t realize how toxic and cancerous it is for us to stay in that place of pain and unconsciousness until we are well addicted.
Saying good-bye to someone we think we love is a difficult choice. We usually want to “save” and “fix” the relationship even when they have hurt us and we know staying away from painful actions and situations is the best choice for us. It’s especially hard when the person we love accuses us of hating them, not offering acceptance and compassion, giving up or wanting to cast them out of our lives.
“I DEEPLY LOVE YOU, it’s THE THINGS YOU DO I CAN’T STAND”
Parenting teaches us about unconditional support. We love our children even when their behavior is NOT lovable.
It seems hard to accept that sometimes we may choose to not stay in a relationship with someone and still love them unconditionally for whomever they choose to be. It’s all a choice.
Today, I wish for us a healthy, beautiful relationship, filled with love, gratitude, passion and balance. I wish us a non-toxic, organic, green relationship where acceptance, respect and healthy debate foster freedom of expression. A relationship in which we are and feel safe, cared for, heard, supported and appreciated. I wish us organic relationships with ourselves.
Today, I wish for us to stay away from toxic people and muster up the courage to say: “You Deplete Me.”
Founder of the Positive MOM® and creator of the S.T.O.R.Y. System: a blueprint to craft and share powerful stories that will transform your results and help others do the same. Dr. Elayna Fernández is a single mom of 4, an award-winning Storyteller, Story Strategist, and Student of Pain. She’s a bestselling author, internationally acclaimed keynote speaker, and 5x TEDx speaker. She has spoken at the United Nations, received the President’s Volunteer Lifetime Achievement Award, and was selected as one of the Top Impactful Leaders and a Woman of Influence by SUCCESS Magazine. Connect with Elayna at thepositivemom.com/ef and follow @thepositivemom. To receive a gift from Elayna, click HERE.
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Matthew
Thursday 9th of February 2012
Wow. Good words! Thanks for posting. It helps a bit.
“You Deplete Me.” I don't know if I'll actually ever say that to someone, but I like it.
Elayna Fernandez
Saturday 11th of February 2012
I'm happy, Matthew. I guarantee you things will get better. Keep the faith! xoxo